so that wasnt chicken after all
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
