So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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