he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We are two peas in an std pod
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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