yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
