there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
