her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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