It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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