He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
