and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
