hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
