i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
