i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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