Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
do herpes really smell.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
