Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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