Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
