I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
wow bdsm is so cute
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