What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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