Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
God, I missed his penis.
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