I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize