ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Two words: nipple clamps
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