Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
