God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Randomize
