I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
