Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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