I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
