I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
