Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
