It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize