next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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