I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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