I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Non-Jews are for practice
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
