After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
