Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
