he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
They have beer where we have blood.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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