Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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