I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
