Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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