At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
