you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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