I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
