Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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