So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
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