It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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