whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Barsexuality is the new black.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
