wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
