How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize