So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
