Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Four minutes until I can fart!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
