Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
