Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
my poor anus
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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