I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
