I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
there is glitter all over my balls
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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