Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
