found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
