Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
