Don't you send me to vm
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
