JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize