You're my little dorito
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
