i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
