I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
