I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
