what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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