i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
